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Have
you ever been wondering to put on your as your facebook update? Well
with this list, you will be getting the most "likes" and comments than
ever before. I will provide you with a list of extremely funny Facebook
status updates. You can also check out my top 25 Twitter tweets . Without any more delay, here is the list:
1) Finally heard some good news coming out of the BP Oil Spill today —
local fisherman report the tuna they’re catching are getting up to
35mpg. Nice.
2) scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
3) was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”
4) Why don't refrigerators have a milk dispenser next to the water in the door? You could just hold your cereal bowl under it and push the button. ツ
5) I wish life came with a remote to ◄◄ rewind ► play ▌▌pause ►► fast forward or sometimes just mute..
6) MTV has 'My Super Sweet 16' & 'When I Was 17.' What's next? 'Officer, I swear I thought she was 18!
7) "Mr. and Mrs. Explorer? It's social services. We are here to talk to you about Dora."
8) I'm not anti social, I'm just really content not knowing you.
9) My doctor told me that I had to give up drinking. It's been 3 days now and I feel really dehydrated..
10) The word OK looks like a sideways person. ツ
11) is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
12) is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube...
13) is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute
14) What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the terms of use"
15) What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.
16) Men are like government bonds, they take so long to mature.
17) ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
18) You know those signs on the front doors of stores that say "NO SHOES NO SHIRT NO SERVICE"? Go in with no pants and see what happens.
19) shh... I'm hunting wabbits!
20) Home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy it.
21) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
22) eating a PB&J sammich.
23) This space for rent.
24) thinks that playing “tag” with sprinters would be the least fun game in the world. Second only to playing on the seasaw with a sumo-wrestler.
25) india foxtrot yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha november uniform november delta echo romeo sierra tango alpha november delta tango hotel india sierra charlie oscar papa yankee alpha november delta papa alpha sierra tango echo tango oscar yankee oscar uniform romeo sierra tango alpha tango uniform sierra
/\ /\ /\ That is the phonetic alphabet. Take the first letter of each word to make a sentence.
26) survey: Would you rather be a ginormous hampster or a tiny rhinocerous?
27) Go to urbandictionary.com and look up your first name. Copy this in your status and what Urban Dictionary says about your name in the first comment…
28) never play leapfrog with a unicorn
29) "No iPods in school!" Yeah, because I'm gonna cheat off my test by listening to California Gurls.
And my favorite
30) Who is this 'little bird'? And why does he keep telling everyone my secrets!!!
2) scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
3) was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”
4) Why don't refrigerators have a milk dispenser next to the water in the door? You could just hold your cereal bowl under it and push the button. ツ
5) I wish life came with a remote to ◄◄ rewind ► play ▌▌pause ►► fast forward or sometimes just mute..
6) MTV has 'My Super Sweet 16' & 'When I Was 17.' What's next? 'Officer, I swear I thought she was 18!
7) "Mr. and Mrs. Explorer? It's social services. We are here to talk to you about Dora."
8) I'm not anti social, I'm just really content not knowing you.
9) My doctor told me that I had to give up drinking. It's been 3 days now and I feel really dehydrated..
10) The word OK looks like a sideways person. ツ
11) is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
12) is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube...
13) is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute
14) What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the terms of use"
15) What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.
16) Men are like government bonds, they take so long to mature.
17) ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
18) You know those signs on the front doors of stores that say "NO SHOES NO SHIRT NO SERVICE"? Go in with no pants and see what happens.
19) shh... I'm hunting wabbits!
20) Home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy it.
21) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
22) eating a PB&J sammich.
23) This space for rent.
24) thinks that playing “tag” with sprinters would be the least fun game in the world. Second only to playing on the seasaw with a sumo-wrestler.
25) india foxtrot yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha november uniform november delta echo romeo sierra tango alpha november delta tango hotel india sierra charlie oscar papa yankee alpha november delta papa alpha sierra tango echo tango oscar yankee oscar uniform romeo sierra tango alpha tango uniform sierra
/\ /\ /\ That is the phonetic alphabet. Take the first letter of each word to make a sentence.
26) survey: Would you rather be a ginormous hampster or a tiny rhinocerous?
27) Go to urbandictionary.com and look up your first name. Copy this in your status and what Urban Dictionary says about your name in the first comment…
28) never play leapfrog with a unicorn
29) "No iPods in school!" Yeah, because I'm gonna cheat off my test by listening to California Gurls.
And my favorite
30) Who is this 'little bird'? And why does he keep telling everyone my secrets!!!
Thanks
for reading my top 30 funniest Facebook updates. I hope you have
enjoyed this article and got a laugh from it. I will try to add more
content and funny updates soon. I find all of my facebook updates from
my friends and myself, so most of them are original! If you enjoyed
this, please vote it /\ up /\.
Which do you think was the best Facebook status? Leave a comment below of your favorite one or post your own and I might add it to the list.
Which do you think was the best Facebook status? Leave a comment below of your favorite one or post your own and I might add it to the list.
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